Let’s just go ahead and start out by saying none of us want to talk about this, myself included. I would rather bury my head in the sand and assume my sweet little daughters will never encounter “bad people”, “bad touch” or “bad pictures”. And, Lord willing, that will be true! I will pray to that end daily until I die! But as a mama, I am not helpless. I can set a foundation of open dialogue and make sure my girls know that I am a safe place to talk about this kind of thing and someone to come to should something horrible happen. I can make sure they know what is and is not allowed when it comes to their body and other people’s bodies. I can make sure they know that if something should ever happen to them, it is not their fault and they are not in trouble. It is my desire that they know they can come to me about anything.
So with those goals in mind, I know these are conversations I need to start having now. As awkward as I have felt we have been using proper body part names since they were little and reinforning repeatedly since they were little who can see their privates and under what circumstances. I feel like I am blushing on the regular with these types of conversations but here is the thing, they dont know its awkward! They are just little and if they hear these conversations then they get to grow up thinking it’s fine and not embarrasing to talk to mom about this stuff. So i just sweat and blush on the inside and push through in hopes for open dialogue as they get older.
I have talked about most of these resources on my instagram stories and saved look throughs of them in the highlights so you can see these books in way more detail there, however I wanted to highlight a few of them today. Sometimes reading a book about something can be easier than just diving into a conversation. These books can be excellent conversation starters. Clicking on the title of each book will bring you to it on amazon if you are interested in purchasing.
I will preface these resources by saying my girls are little. The resources I have in my home are geared toward younger and more immature children. At the end I will also link a couple resources for older children but if you have older kids and have any favourite resources please leave them in the comments for others to benefit from.
resources about body safety
- I love this book called God Made All of Me. As evidenced by the title, it is a Biblical based book about the body. It reminds kids that God made their bodies and they are good and not gross, but some parts are private. It also reinforces that they are in charge of when and if they receive all kinds of touch from anyone. It is a quick and easy read and I read this one regularly with my girls.
I am going to quickly take this opportunity to remind you that a child has to hug no one. Not even mom or dad or gramma or grampa. If you are reading these books to your children but then making them sit on Great Uncle Albert’s lap so they dont hurt his feelings, you are sending a mixed message. Whatever touch they feel comfortable with is up to them. The feelings of others is not a reason for them to accept touch that makes them uncomfortable.
2. A second book I like for teaching body safety is called Good Touch Bad Touch. This focuses on the touch aspect and does a good job covering different lies or tricks that the abuser may use to get the child not to tell. This is so important to cover with your children so they know that whatever is said to them is not true and they are always always supposed to tell you.
This one is not faith based but is a short and easy to follow book.
resources about porn
We live in a world full of screens. Our kids have far more access to screens and the internet than we ever did growing up. One way to avoid this is to limit your child’s screen time and keep things age appropriate. My 5 and 7 year old daughters get zero unsupervised screen time. They are not allowed to freely search you tube or any other site. They have a few learning apps on the ipad they can play under my supervision and thats it. If they are watching something on you tube I am putting it on for them and it stays in the kitchen with me. However I still know there is always the possibility they will see something they shouldn’t. Some friends have much more internet access than they do so may see something accidentally that way. I have been in a classroom in public school where a child pulled up an inappropriate image and told another kid to look. Right there in 5 seconds that kid has now seen porn and not through his own fault. If your child has access to screens at all, even at school, you need to be teaching them about porn. Even magazines in a supermarket have pictures that are not appropriate for children. Even billboards for goodness sake!
Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr is an amazing resource for teaching and opening up conversation about this. This version is geared for preschoolers up to age 7 or so and there is a version for older children here that has more detail. I am still using the junior since I feel thats the level both my girls are at and since they aren’t away from us often at all. In the next year or so I will likely get the next one to read with Hailey. The jr. edition focuses mostly on where they might see pictures, what good and bad pictures are, and what to do if you see a bad picture.
resources about sex
I will admit I am a rookie on this topic as the girls are so small we are in the very basic stages of just learning about body differences between men and women. The whole God’s Design for Sex series is amazing though and teaches about this from a Biblical standpoint. (So this is going to teach about sex between only a man and a woman and in the confines of marriage.) This is all still very much a learning curve for me on how much to talk about and when. So far I am taking this on a “when they ask” kind of basis and only answering what they ask, not diving into greater detail. We are still using Book 1 of the God’s Design for Sex series which is intended for ages 3-5 and is called The Story of Me. The second book for ages 5 to 8 does give a tactful but direct explanation of sexual intercourse between a husband and a wife and I just dont think we / I are ready for that yet. So for now we are sticking with book 1. There are 4 books in the series with the final book for ages 11-14. (I will link to the books for older children below when I mention other resources).
This book will force you to say the proper names of body parts so if you aren’t doing that yet, get ready! (but you really should be!)
So these pages give you a glimpse of what is in this book. Again, it is coming from a biblical world view which is what I believe to be true and how I want to teach my kids. I can teach them to be kind and loving and respectful to others while still holding true to a Biblical foundation for sexuality.
other resources for older kids
Because I am not at this stage yet, I have not read these books but I do want to share them here so you can check them out. If you have instagram I highly recommend checking out maandpamodern and her “fight porn” highlight for some amazing resources and education. Here are some links to other resources:
God’s Design for Sex book 2: Before I was Born
God’s Design for Sex book 3: What’s the Big Deal
God’s Design for Sex book 4: Facing the Facts
How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography
Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept ( I have this one ordered but don’t have it yet)
Mom, Dad, What’s Sex? ( To read yourself first when kids are younger and then with them as they get older)
Tech-wise Family (this one is in my amazon cart!)
These are just a few of many many resources out there on the topic. I hope you find this helpful and please please share if you have other favourites! I hope this will encourage you to start the conversation with your kids!
Leave a Reply